Listening and Breathing

I am still feeling a need to move in slow motion. I am trying to listen to myself, care for myself, move through my day mindfully and BREATHE.

Today, I am grateful for my body.

Despite all of the bullshit we've been through together...

...and all of the hatred and loathing I've directed at it over the years...

...today I am reminded that my body is amazing, and capable of incredible things.

***

Since we're on the topic of self care and nurturing, I wanted to share a link to Heather's 60 second joy list exercise. I think it is a delightful idea, and one that I may adopt this week.

M is for Mondays...and Music: Feeding the Wolf

The past eight days have seen a convergence of stress inducing events on just about every aspect of my life. Work, social, health. Things really came to a head yesterday, and I just felt so physically exhausted. I was talking to my best friend, Allison, on the phone and at one point I uttered, "I feel like I've been full on crying all day, when I haven't shed a tear. It makes no sense."

It's days like these where I want to pile into my down comforter and listen to songs like this on repeat.

Then today, one of my friends posted this on Facebook...

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life.

"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.

"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." He continued, "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Today it became clear to me that something has got to give. I came home and made dinner. Then I lit a candle and pulled out my yoga mat. I did a series of yoga poses for no more than 25 minutes, but it calmed my mind.

This past Saturday at Laydeez Coffeez we got into a deep discussion about gratitude and thankfulness. I wrote about this topic a few years ago, and subsequently got into the habit of ending my post with a thankful nod. I think it's about time I brought that back.

Today I am thankful for my friends and their capacity to listen and respond in ways that are honest, caring and grounding.

So although I am truly feeling the sad Nina tunes today - I will sign off by feeding the good wolf with some glass half full Aretha. (My fave version of this is sung by Ella Fitzgerald...but there seem to be no decent videos of that online. Look it up if you get a chance)!

Smoothie Challenge Update #4

Today the Pear, Oat, Cinnamon and Ginger Shake from Martha Stewart Living, January 2012. Aforementioned ingredients plus: milk, buttermilk, ice cubes, maple syrup (I added a little honey because I was low on syrup), almond butter and a bit of salt.

Dance-spiration Friday: Svetlana Zakharova

Ballet is a completely unnatural, unforgiving art form and dance genre. Its physical demand for perfection are something that most professional dancers struggle with their entire lives. A "perfect" ballet dancer would possess a number of physical traits and capabilities, and no one has them all...

Except for rare birds like Svetlana Zakharova. She's what I like to call an "alien." Born with all of the physical traits necessary to be the perfect ballet dancer. High arches, 180 degree rotation in the hips, insane flexibility...the list goes on. Combine all of that with a youth of hard work, and you get perfection.

Can't fight this feeling anymore...

***

I am feeling sick, sick, sick, sick, sicky. Staying home today.

The Pipettes and The Sniffle-ettes

I heard this little ditty on Boston College's radio station on my commute home today. Retro Brit girl pop? Yes, please. This is right up my alley.

***

In other news work has been absofuckinglutely crazy this week and I managed to work myself right into a nice little exhaustion induced cold. I'll be snuggling and sniffling under my covers extra early this evening...but the weekend is almost here - HURRAH!

M is for Mondays...and Music: Etta James, A Tribute

Most days, when I open up my web browser and see flashes of celebrity news pop up, I do not pay much mind. I rarely know (or care) who is dating who, who allegedly has gone under the knife and I've never seen a single episode of Jersey Shore. But this past Friday, when I hopped on Facebook and saw that my friend Jamie had posted about Etta James' passing, I felt my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach. I was instantly mournful, and remained a touch sad throughout the day - over someone that I had never even met.

If you follow my blog with any regularity, you would know that in addition to being a dancer, I am also a singer. My high school years were very much like the show Glee - minus all of the sex and the autotuning. I had a wonderful teacher and mentor, Mrs. L, who took me under her wing, and gave me the confidence to rock a mic. Every spare moment that I had between school and ballet class was spent flipping through Mrs. L's CD collection, educating myself by listening to the greats; Ella, Sarah, Aretha, Joni, Carole, Billie and Etta. These women inspired me to become a better singer.

Etta's passing is so significant because she was one of the few great voices left standing from a different era, an era when autotune didn't exist, and a singer became famous for his or her vocal chops, not because of how he or she looked. Video really did kill the radio star.

The documentary Before the Music Died explores just how easy it is to create a pop star in our age of technology...

It makes a music fan wonder - How many Ellas, Sarahs, Arethas, Jonis, Caroles, Billies and Ettas are getting passed over in favor of beautiful women who can't sing? Will the world mourn the eventual death of Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson as the end of a musical era? Will the great voices of this generation ever be heard? One has to wonder.

It is my hope that there will be artists that emerge from this generation who will both find commercial success AND inspire the music students of the future. (All my hopes and dreams are pinned on Adele at the moment). If not, I will take comfort in the fact that Etta leaves behind the legacy of her gorgeous musical catalogue - which I know will continue to inspire me for years to come.

Of course, the song most associated with Etta James is "At Last." I would like to feature a few of my, maybe lesser known but just as great, favorites.

Thank you for the music, Etta.

Smoothie Challenge Update #3

Today's concoction: Banana, mango, strawberry, spinach, honey, water.

It looks disgusting - but tastes delicious. That is all.

Smoothie Challenge Update #2

The smoothie challenge is still going strong. Yesterday I was uber lazy and didn't make a smoothie, but took everything that would've gone into said smoothie and ate it out of a bowl...

I mean, it was essentially a yogurt parfait, so I thought, why not?

Today was an exercise in creativity. I have not gone grocery shopping for awhile, and the fridge is rather bare. However, I had 1/2 cup of greek yogurt left, and some berries from picking this summer in the freezer. So I made a berry cardamom smoothie: yogurt, handful of raspberries, blueberries, dash of oatmeal, honey, splash of coconut milk and a generous spoonful of cardamom. Maybe too generous...but boy do I love cardamom!

Seriously? WTF am I...Little Miss Muffett?

Another one for the record books my friends...

I just woke up from a dream where I lived in some sort of Fahrenheit 451/1984ish society where local food producers and farmers had been squashed by some mysterious "MAN" (Monsanto???) in favor of government issue meals. (Yes, this is the type of shit I have nightmares about apparently). However, there was an underground network of spies, in said society, whose job it was to pass on and keep alive traditional food preparation methods. I was one of those spies.

This dream involved me running from Big Brother's cohorts (Monsanto cronies???), hiding in the woods, traveling to safe houses and meeting fellow operatives who essentially were walking recipe books.

My job?

Oh, apparently my role in this society was to be keeper of secrets about all the things you can do with WHEY.

After kicking some serious ass Mission Impossible style - I ran into some safe house spouting facts like this:

Gasping for breath...heaving...

You can...you can...make pizza dough with it!

You can make bread with it!

You can make ricotta out of it!

You can freeze it to preserve it!

You can cook pasta in it!

And then I woke up.

***

Seriously, subconscious? OKAY...

I love New England

The view outside my window was so beautiful this morning. The sun rising behind the trees, light dispersing out over the freshly fallen snow...New England just takes my breath away sometimes.

I would love to travel the world over, but at the end of the day my heart belongs to this place - its four seasons, each heralding new beauty, waiting to be discovered. This morning it was sparkle and shine. Tomorrow? Who knows...

Dance-spiration Friday: Jacques d’Amboise's Peanut Butter Ballet

For today's Dance-spiration Friday, I would like to get my geek on and share my absolute nerdy reverence for a man named Jacques d’Amboise.

Jacques d’Amboise was a New York City Ballet star that went on to form an organization called National Dance Institute. NDI has introduced dance to thousands of school children since its inception in 1976.

D’Amboise is absolutely a dance education rock star, and a personal hero. He has accomplished so much and does it with panache and humor - as evidenced in the following video featuring NDI students. I mean, really, is their anything cuter than a ballet about making peanut butter?

Enjoy!

PROTECT IP / SOPA Breaks The Internet

As you surf your way through the internet today, you may find that many of your favorite websites have been blacked out. This is why:

PROTECT IP / SOPA Breaks The Internet from Fight for the Future on Vimeo.

Contact your representatives and keep the internet free. No, seriously...stop looking at LOLCats, go do it.

Thus ends today's PSA.

M is for Mondays...and Music: Song Crush of the Week/Jill Scott's He Loves Me Live 2001

Now, I've been singing for most of my life, and I like to humor myself with thinking that I have a pretty decent voice, but...

...when I see videos like this, it makes me want to electively have my mouth sewn shut for eternity.

Jill is a goddess. This performance is solid gold. That is all. Enjoy.

Tell me, what's your song crush of the week?

M is for Mondays...and Music: Musical Memory, The Roxanne Drinking Game

Musical Memory: The Roxanne Drinking Game

Radford University, Radford, Virginia - Freshman Year, 2000-2001

Around Radford University it was said among students that you can't spell drunk without the RU. Needless to say, (to my defense, like many other American college students), I spent much of my 18th year testing the sturdiness of my liver.

I can't remember (my lack of memory will be explained in a moment) who among my friends first suggested the Roxanne drinking game...but I do remember that it became a pre-game staple. My evenings on the weekend, (and, ahem, sometimes on the weekday), looked something like this:

1. Slap on make-up/do hair/do other peoples' hair/don outfit/listen to pump-up pre-party music.

2. Go to a friend's dorm room -usually Evelynne's or CP's and play the Roxanne drinking game with the RU Crew. Achieve insta-buzz.

3. Go to party of the evening. Dance face off.

Not familiar with the classy ritual that is the Roxanne drinking game? Here's how you play:

1. Make sure every one has one or two alcoholic beverages in hand, preferably a beer, or something lame, sweet and fizzy like a wine cooler. You do NOT want to mess around with shots or liquor drinks during this game. (This game is a TERRIBLE TERRIBLE idea anyways).

2. Play Roxanne, by The Police.

3. Ladies drink whenever the word Roxanne is sung, men drink whenever the phrase "put on the red light" is sung.

4. Try not to get alcohol poisoning.

Have a listen. Let it sink in.

Terrible, terrible idea right?

Ah, youth.

And that is what I think of every time I hear Roxanne by The Police.

Facebook Ego Inflation

Sarah D to Alexandra C: I miss your face. That is all.

Alexandra C: awww! Yesterday I was talking about you to a friend of Deb E's and I was saying how awesome you are! How last January led you to find your superhero cape and now look how much ass you kick!

Sarah D: You are terrible for my already inflated ego.

Smuttynose Cabin Fever 5K

So my sister convinced me to run a second 5K! We hit the road around 6:30AM - it wasn't even light out...

The obligatory pre-race photo. My beautiful nephew Oskar aka The Dude, my sissy and me.

Crossing the finish line - with YET ANOTHER heinous running face. What's up with that? I even smiled directly at my brother-in-law and waved and this is the image that he captures. Sigh.

Oh - and here is the ridiculous breakfast that I mowed down after the race. Apparently I was craving vast amounts of protein...and fat. Vegetables were uncharacteristically underrepresented on my plate.

***

I found this race to be considerably harder than the last. I've been running very inconsistently since the arrival of the holidays and the cold weather. There were plenty of hills and the roads were slick with ice. I soldiered through - but I was a bit displeased with how difficult this 5K was for me.

Despite that - it was REALLY nice to be outside running. I had previously decided that I would pick up running again in the springtime, but instead, I think it's time to check off #22 on my 29 before 30 list and invest in some Yaktrax so I can get back out on the road on a regular basis.

Smoothie Challenge Update #1/5K Early Morning Madness

I slept with wet hair, and this is what happens. I will never, never learn.

Anyways, update on the smoothie challenge. It's going well! I cheated on one day, I tend to want a big girl breakfast on Sundays, when I have the leisure to actually cook something, but I substituted the smoothie for one of my meals later in the day.

Interestingly enough, I'm finding that I do not *want* my coffee in the morning when I drink a smoothie. I feel pretty energized...to a POINT. By mid-morning my body goes into shut down mode if I don't pump it full of caffeine. Just an interesting observation.

I'm on the second recipe that I've tried. This one is considerably more yummy, but it is filled with considerably more delicious things. This time from Everyday Food's January 2012 issue I'm drinking the Avocado Banana smoothie, with avocado, banana, non-fat greek yogurt, honey, orange juice and ice. NOM!

***

In other news I'm running my second 5K today with my sister. I'm feeling considerably unprepared this time around, since I have not been running much. Also there's the fact that it's an hour and a half north in the hinterlands, and it's going to be 22 degrees. But no matter - it'll be fun. Ren's bringing me an iPod with my personal running anthem on it...how could this not be fun?

Dance-spiration Friday: Oren Lavie's Her Morning Elegance

Okay, okay, so this could really be construed as yet another music-crush post, but let me explain...

If you ever have the pleasure of taking modern dance classes or composition class, you would most certainly be bombarded with this tidbit of theory.

The Three Elements of Dance

Space is the physical environment where movement happens - a dance studio, a stage, a hallway and in the case of this week's inspiration video, a bed.

Time is the non-physical environment where movement happens. You can't see it, you can't touch it, but there is a pulse or beat either in silence or in a piece of music that is creating a structure for movement to happen.

Energy is the amount of effort that is put into your movement. Raise your right hand slowly, and you might appear to be dancing in water, raise your right hand sharply and you may appear to be hailing Hitler. Energy can change the emotional dynamics or intention behind a movement.

When all of these things work in tandem - you have dance in it's purest form. If your definition of dance is girls twirling in tutus and pointe shoes, then this little theory blows that out of the water. Watch a city train changeover at rush hour...you have space and time and energy...and a dance of epic proportions.

That said, let's talk about Oren Lavie's music video for Her Morning Elegance...

First of all, I love, love, love, love, love it when musicians use dance in an unusual way in their videos. Don't get me wrong, I love me some JJ (Janet Jackson) full on choreo, bass thumpin', booty-shakin' dance videos...but this is different and refreshing!

Secondly, I nerd out on the use of space in this video. Choreographers love puzzles, and this video gets me thinking, "Hmm...how can I tell a story using only a bed? How many movements could I create that fit on/around the bed?" The movements here are minimal, but so effective.

Lastly - it's freaking STOP-MOTION! I am obsessed with stop-motion. I mean, when you grow up on Teeny Little Super Guy how could you not be?

Do you consider this video to be "dance"? Why or why not? What is your definition of dance?

1/11/2011

One year ago today, I kicked M out of our apartment. I sat in utter disbelief as he went from the closet to the dresser, the dresser to the closet, shoving what he could grab into a trash bag. I could not believe what his actions had set into motion.

We hugged each other, he walked out the door, and I promptly threw up.

For the next week solid, I sat in my bed. I did not eat. I did not sleep. I did not go to work. I drank wine at all hours of the day and called my friends and family, or Skyped with my sister. I stopped blogging, I stopped cooking, I stopped knitting, I stopped EVERYTHING.

***

Today I hit snooze a couple of times, woke up a little later than usual, and noticed that my body is a little sore from my awesome class with the hoodlerinas yesterday. I had a green smoothie for breakfast. I sat down to blog, because my blogging mojo seems to be back in full effect. It's a beautiful morning, and my little apartment is warm and cozy. It's been a year, and my life is good. In fact, it's more than good, it's BETTER.

Today, I can say with honesty, I regret nothing.

Hobbes Lurve

Hobbes loves to settle on my back whenever I'm lying on my belly.



Then she puts her little chin down, and it's so cute it HURTS! Kryptonite of cute!





Then she gives me the half-glare as if to say, "Really, mother? You have 8,000 versions of this exact photo clogging up your hard drive. Must you take another?"



But I snap away. Because I love that tubby, little ball of fluff.

EDIT: I just noticed Cassie in the background in these photos...ever the neglected child. Hilarious.

I see a bad moon rising...

This is the face of someone leaving for their commute an entire hour early. Don't I look amused?

Yesterday was fraught with car trouble. Little Red, the freshest Jeep on the block, overheated on the way to work. This was the third time that this has happened in two weeks. I suspected that I had a small leak in the line that delivers coolant to the engine - so I had been replacing the coolant, intending to take care of the problem...some time...soonish.

This was not a good plan apparently.

After buying and pouring in ANOTHER container of coolant, and hopping back on the road, Little Red immediately overheated again. This was the point where I thought, "I'd better pull over." So I pulled off the very last exit before a $2 toll. While at a stop light, my warning light switched off. I thought, "Brilliant! The coolant is working!" proceeded to do a U-turn to get back on 95.

Immediately my light goes on.

I thought, "Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck."

Well, let's get real, I yelled, "Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!"

So, after paying a toll, I pull off the highway for the third time and threw in the proverbial towel. Clearly, I was not going to Boston.

What followed was...

A tow truck -

An unexpected visit at the parentals' house -

Working from said parentals' house. Pros - endless supply off coffee brought directly to me (Thanks Mom! Can I hire you to provide the same service at my office?), Cons Murder She Wrote and Bonanza playing in the background which caused me to lose focus and marvel at the truly terrible dialogue -

Attending two meetings via conference call on my crappy cell phone where all of my coworkers sounded like they were speaking to me from another dimension -

Wanting to stab myself in the eye during said meetings -

Then I received the most fun phone call of the day.

"Really, I need a new radiator?"

"How much is that going to cost?"

"@#$%^!"

"No sooner than noon TOMORROW?"


"@#$%^!"


***

Thus, why it is 7:16AM and I have already been awake for over two hours and I'm sitting on a train. Not cool.

Last night at open mic, I met a hippie-chick belly dance teacher who had also experienced car troubles yesterday. She blamed it on the full moon. I don't know if there is any weight to that whatsoever - but I'll give a shake of my fist towards the sky anyways.

In other news I drank two, very deserved, glasses of wine last night, and adding to my crankiness I have a total mini wine hangover headache this morning. When did I become so lame-sauce with a side of lame-en-ade?

MELT

Looks like Aaron is settling nicely into big brother-hood.

M is for Mondays...and Music: Song Crush of the Week/Lana del Rey's Video Games

Song Crush of the Week

Lana del Rey - Video Games

I first heard this little ditty about a week ago when it popped up on my friend Tobin's listening feed on Spotify. Tobin has impeccable taste in music, and I did not recognize the artist's name - so away I clicked.

It took me 2.5 seconds to fall in love with this. Pretty, smokey voice. Dreamy, fantastical, Florence and the Machine-like instrumentation. Yes please and thank you.

Tell me, what's your song crush of the week?

M is for Mondays...and Music: Musical Memory Sigur Ros' Staralflur

Musical Memory: Sigur Ros' Staralflur

Dover, New Hampshire - Autumn 2003

I don't quite remember how Ryan and I started hanging out, all I know is that we quickly became inseparable. We spent almost every other day together for months and months.

Before the advent of mP3 players, Ryan was the type of friend that always carried about 1,000 CDs in his car at any given time - so that he could have musical options. Ryan, like myself, was an audiophile - and was constantly introducing me to a plethora of bands that I had never heard of, spanning a variety of genres.

On a particularly beautiful autumn day, we were driving in Ryan's car down a curvy back road in Dover. I do not remember where we were headed, or why we were on that back road. Ryan popped in a Sigur Ros CD and said "You have to listen to this." Staralflur came on, and our conversation went completely quiet. As Ryan maneuvered the twists and turns of the road, the wind caused drifts of autumn leaves in brilliant shades of red, orange, brown and gold to flutter before the windshield. For six minutes, nature bent to us - and the leaves danced in perfect choreography to the rising and falling notes produced by the strings.

I remember barely being able to breathe. I remember thinking "This is one of the most cinematic moments I will ever live."

I never discussed what I had experienced that day, with Ryan, until years later. We had lost touch for years when he looked me up on Facebook to invite me to his wedding. We began to chat, when I said "Remember that day we listened to Sigur Ros in your car?" He exclaimed, "Of course I do!" The memory was just as strong for him too.

This is probably the strongest "musical memory" that I have to date. Staralflur will always make me think of that drive...of the autumn leaves descending to earth...and of a brilliant moment, shared with a brilliant friend.

Dreams Are SO Weird - Follow Up

One of my longtime readers, S'mee, offered this interesting interpretation to this morning's freakishly bizarre Hobbes dream on Facebook...

"The hippy chick will interpret: You long for a man who is a tiger on the outside, yet all fluffy and sweet on the inside. A man who will be your fast friend, willing to go with you into any adventure you can think up. The slow-mo is interpreted as - this will be a long, on-going search until you finally meet. Unfortunately, he may be a delusional character. : ) Good to know you are still childlike though, right?"

Perfect. Thanks, S'mee.

Dreams Are SO Weird

I slept TERRIBLY last night. I went to bed late, I woke up frequently, and could not get back to sleep. After a stretch of being awake from 5:40-8:00am, I dozed off and had the following crazy dream.

I am standing on a road in a typical New England town. I see a crush standing ALL the way at the opposite end of the road. We lock eyes. We excitedly wave! Then there is some slow motion running (like Dudley Moore and Bo Derek in 10), embracing and kissing and twirling and the like.

At this point you're probably thinking, "Sarah, that dream sounds pretty vanilla to me!"

Just wait.

Did I mention that said object of my affection is wearing a giant, fuzzy Hobbes costume? (Not Hobbes, my cat, but Hobbes as in Calvin and).

I'll tell you my thoughts upon waking up -

...

What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!?!

Why is my crush dressed as a comic character?

Do I have some sort of subconscious Hobbes fetish?

Am I supposed to be Calvin in this situation?

Does that elevate this dream to a whole new level of creepy?

Why? Why? Why, brain, do you think of these things?

Seriously. disturbed.

Laydeez Coffeez

A few months ago my friend Chrissie was in the process of selling her couch on Craiglist. One Saturday morning, buyers were expected to show up at her house, so Chrissie put a call out on Facebook for friends to come over and protect her in case they were Craiglist creepers or serial killers. In return, she would provide coffee and delicious treats.

Our other friend Joi and I volunteered. The Craigslist people were not creepers or serial killers. (Thank goodness - as if I could really protect another human being against anything)! And the three of us ended up having an awesome time.

A few weeks later - Chrissie invited me to a secret group titled Laydeez Coffeez on Facebook - with the following letter attached:

Alright womenz,

A few Saturdays ago Joi, Sarah and I ended up sharing a cup-o-joe at my pad from 10am-11am specifically. This was so lovely and enjoyable that we got to thinking: why don't we try to do this EVERY Saturday?

Now knowing that we're all INSANE-O busy, here's what we came up with:
WHAT- Laydeez Coffeez, to take one hour out of our weeks to "breathe and reboot" (and YES I just quoted Sex and the City... so WHAT?)
WHEN- Every Saturday for ONE HOUR, 10am-11am ONLY (we end PROMPTLY at 11am and get on with our busy lives... or go back to sleep.)
WHO- Whoever CAN! NO PRESSURE at ALL. If you can make it, great! If not?- catch you next time.
WHERE- Location will rotate weekly.
HOW- We simply check-in here weekly toward the end of each week. Whoever wants to host offers up their place: whoever wants to attend lets the host know she will or will not be coming. We just need to not leave one of us laydeez hangin' and simply commit to saying "yay" or "nay" to the host by Friday (or sooner.)

All those in favor?...

P.S. Oh and also!-- let me know anyone I may have missed inviting to this secret lil' group and I'll invite her.

Chrissie is an organizational boss.

So nearly every Saturday morning since, from 10:00-11:00am (well, let's get real, sometimes 11:30am - we're a chatty bunch), I have the pleasure of getting together with a group of fabulous, intelligent women. Some days there are just three of us, some days there are ten, it varies.

Around 10:50am, each week, we do something special. We each go around and tell the group something special or good that we have going on in our lives. A job interview, a new crush, a weight loss triumph, a new goal. We cheers each person's share and gulp our coffee or tea gladly.

Every week my heart expands each time I enter one of these laydeez' homes - and every week I am in awe of their capacity to listen, accomplish and love.

Dance-spiration Friday: Kaitlyn Conley/Belief

Before you watch this week's Dance-spiration Friday video, I feel I must explain something for all of you non dancer types out there. There are two camps of dance education - conservatory style dance training and competition schools. Most, but not all, dancers grow up in one setting or another. I grew up in a conservatory setting, and that has strongly influenced my opinions on dance education. Frankly, I feel that conservatories train for athletic excellence, while honoring dance as a form of artistic expression. Competition schools train their dancers to be machines. The best of them turn out students that can do sick-nasty tricks/unbelievable stuff with their bodies, which is entertaining. However, I usually find that the art piece of it is often lost underneath a solid coat of spray glitter and a bunch of sequins.

Of course, this preference does not stop me from getting into "YouTube spirals" and watching hours upon hours of competition videos. One day, after wading through link after link of talented, but trashily dressed/over made-up girls, I was pleasantly surprised to come across this video of a young dancer named Kaitlyn Conley dancing to Belief by Gavin DeGraw. There are so many things I love about this:

1. She is simply dressed. No razzle dazzle here - just booty shorts, a tank and a messy ponytail.

2. This girl doesn't have the stereotypical rail thin dancer body. She has a bum, and legs. This is similar to my body type when I was at my peak dancer shape, (and I wish I had appreciated myself a little more). It is awesome to see an atypical body rocking the shit out of a solo.

3. She is FEELIN' it. Oftentimes, I find competition solos to be filled with lots of canned emotion. Lots of mugging going on. I'm sad! (Makes a sad face). I'm jilted! (Makes the same sad, constipated face). I hate that - and there is none of that here.

4. The choreography is fierce. If you watch closely, the closing sequence of moves is an exact rewind of the opening sequence. This appeals to my nerdy brain. Love it.

I've watched this more times than I care to admit, but it just makes me uber happy. Enjoy.

A little challenge

After yesterday's cookies for breakfast fiasco, I felt considerably snackish all day. I had approximately 8,000 cups of coffee, was cranky pants, and was so hungry by the time I started my commute home I *HAD* to stop at Wendy's for dinner.

Gross, gross, gross - all around.

So, I've decided that something has got to give. I've been thinking about changing my breakfast habits, and have recently been inspired by a number of friends plunging into diet-ville for the New Year. However, as a former dancer/diet obsessed human being, I'm not a fan of diets. Drastic does not work for me. What I AM a fan of is small, sustainable change - as evidenced by my positive experience with Couch to 5K.

This is my challenge - drink a smoothie for breakfast every day for the remainder of January - thus consuming more fruits and vegetables. Pretty easy, right? I think I can do this for a month.

First up is the "Green Machine" smoothie from Whole Living's January/February 2012 issue:

Ingredients: Romain lettuce, kale, parsley, mango, pineapple, ginger, water

The verdict: Too much parsley for my taste, but otherwise, yum.

Best Text of the Day

My little niece, Cottrell Amelia, was born this morning at 11:15am. She is 6 lbs 14 oz, and doing great.

Welcome to the world, little one! I can't wait to get my baby snuggle on!

Oh, and FYI, Auntie Renée and I are going to spoil the shit out of you!

80's Reference Comeback FTW!

Bestie (STATUS UPDATE): "WAAHHH Les Mis movie WAAHHH" - every theatre chick

Me: So, you're included in that statement, right?

Bestie: Nope.

Suzie Que: The casting sukketh :P

Bestie: The cast is just fine.

Me: ‎*DISLIKE* Jamie's last comment. #bestiedisconnect We are no longer friends.

Bestie: I just placed the call. The whaaambulence should be there shortly. ;)

Me: George Michael is going to come prancing to my apartment in his denim cut off short shorts?! That's awesome! Thanks for placing the call!


I WIN

WRONG

Is there something ideologically wrong with consuming leftover Christmas cookies and black coffee for breakfast while reading Whole Living and Everyday FOOD's "light" issue?

Yes. (I need to go grocery shopping in the worst way).

Is there something ideologically wrong with Hollywood casting Taylor Swift as Eponine and Amanda Seyfried as Cosette in the film adaptation of Les Miserables aka THE BEST musical of all time?

Yes.

Stop it, Hollywood. Just...STOP IT.

Reform the FDA's Donor Referral Process

It's about to get political up in this biznitch.

My friend Chris, featured in the video below, has been turned away twice while trying to donate blood. Did you know that it is illegal for a gay man to donate blood? And that it makes no difference that Chris is disease free and has the rare blood type of A-? Read more about Chris' story here.



I am so proud of my actor-type friends for putting this video together to raise awareness about this antiquated and discriminatory law. If you feel compelled, I urge you to call your state representatives and make some noise.

PSA over and out.

I've hit the ground...and I'm running

Oy mashugana!

Today was my first day back at work after eight BLISSFUL days of vacation. When my alarm went off at six o' clock, my first thought was...

NO.

However, it was not so bad. Just a whirlwind productive day. I

1) kicked ass at work and day-raged on caffeine
2) rocked my first Vagina Monologues rehearsal (yup, I'm acting in a production for V Day in February for a super awesome cause, more to follow)
3) went to trivia with my two favorite girls on the planet.

All in all, a good day.

Oh - and in case you were wondering what happens when you try to take a picture with a digital camera when it is 6 degrees outside - check the 80'stastic smokey portrait below.



Winter? In full effect.

Introducing M is for Mondays...and Music: Musical Memory Ciara's Ride It

So, I've been wanting to do this for awhile. Mondays from here on out are going to be devoted to all things music. Primarily, I am going to share, what I call "musical memories." I have written many times here on G+N about how strongly I associate certain memories with certain pieces of music, and now I am going to attempt to catalogue those stories. (Rob Sheffield is a genius at this, and has two fantastic books to prove it). However, to keep things open ended, I will also use this series of posts to share music, gush about artists that I like, etc, etc. I hope that you enjoy!

Musical Memory: Ciara's - Ride It

Cambridge, Massachusetts. Fall 2009

My friend Amberlee, or "Ambo" as I like to call her (shown right, above), moved down to Cambridge in the fall of 2009 to attend grad school. Amberlee is one of my most interesting friends to be sure. She grew up here in New Hampshire with a gaggle of biological and adopted siblings in a huge, friendly, glorious commune of a family. She pursued modern dance in college, and has earned approximately one million certifications for teaching both yoga and Pilates. She is worldly and kind, possessing an earth mama-ish big heart. Ambo is the kind of friend that you can talk to in a time of crisis, and she will listen (and listen, and listen and listen) then offer some wise token of sound judgement. In short, she is a gem.

I was still living in Boston, when Ambo moved down, and was thrilled that suddenly she was just a short T-ride away.

Allison and I went to make our maiden voyage to Amberlee's new place, which had all of the charms of a Boston/Cambridge apartment; Old. Cozy. Crazy layout. HOT.

We settled in to chat, and after awhile for some reason our conversation turned towards Ciara.

Amberlee: Have you seen Ciara's Ride It video?
Me: No
Amberlee: Oh my God, we're watching it right now! You have to see what she can do with her ass.

Watch we did. And OH MY what Ciara could do with her ass! (Particularly 3:35, 3:57, ESPECIALLY 4:00 and 4:26)

That when the two of us - earth mama Ambo, and me the whitest white girl alive knelt down on the floor of Ambo's apartment to attempt to copy Ciara's fantastical ass isolations. If we came close at all, we certainly couldn't do it with a sexy face on, and kept collapsing into a fit of hysterics - while Allison looked on, also laughing, and shaking her head.

I shamelessly dance my fool head off to Ride It all the time. (I might know the choreography to the whole "1 o' clock, 2 o ' clock..." section). I still can't isolate my cheeks like that, (though not for lack of trying), but Ride It will always remind me of Amberlee, cracking up on her living room floor and how lucky I am to have such great and silly friends.

Kicking Ass in the New Year

The mental self flogging of a few days ago was the catalyst in a shift within the 2/3 Life Theory pie chart. Yesterday, I woke up at 6:00am, with the urge to clean. NOW.

By the time the daylight was peeking through my window, I had been cleaning for nearly an hour.



I did most of this laundry (ran out of quarters).



There is something SO satisfying about fresh bedding, AH! (And my cats are goddamned adorable).



***

I spent an uncharacteristic New Year's Eve at home, and rang in the New Year by finishing a book (Blankets by Craig Thompson - very good, but not as amazing as Habibi). Then it was lights out for this little miss by 12:05am.

I *did* manage to take a few breaks from cleaning today. First I went for a run around Dover, and explored some new side streets. Then it was off to meet my dear friend Mark and his sweet man-friend Shaun visiting from San Francisco. We caught up over coffee at KAFFEE HAUS (to be shouted in an aggressive German accent), and I embarrassed Mark in front of Shaun telling silly stories about our shenanigans as youngsters, as is my duty and right as his oldest, nearest, dearest, dare I say coolest, lady friend.

All in all, it was a good day. I can see my kitchen for the first time since Thanksgiving, I am drinking a victory stout and Simon and Garfunkel is complimenting the soundtrack of the rain outside my window. Soon I'll be snuggling down into bed with a new book. Life is good.

Can my mom predict the future?

I just got an e-mail from my mother, detailing my 2012 horoscope...

Year 2012 Overview

This year is all about non-stop action for you, Virgo. With Mars spending the entire first half of 2012 in your sign, you may start to wonder if there will be any break in sight before 2013. The first quarter of the year will be under Mars's retrograde influence, a transit that could push you into a semi-neurotic workaholic mode. Be sure to give yourself plenty of physical outlets in order to channel all that excess Mars energy. When Mars turns direct in Virgo in May, you'll possess tremendous energy to make amazing things happen!

With Neptune moving back into your partnership sector in February, you'll settle for nothing less than your true soul mate; either that or you'll feel blissfully wedded to your spiritual nature ... or perhaps a little of both! In any case, this is the time of your life to realize how important it is to satisfy the longings of your soul. You've compromised, settled and rationalized trying to make the wrong relationship right for long enough. Now you're willing to wait for the real thing.

You'll be thrilled to know that Saturn, after putting the brakes on your spending over the last few years, is finally about to take leave of your financial sector. Any financial challenges you've had to endure since 2009 should come to an end this October. A change of residence or alterations to your current abode are possibilities under the next wave of eclipse patterns. June's full Moon lunar eclipse in your domestic sector is the beginning of many profound changes to affect both home and career prospects between late 2012 and early 2013. And then, the new Moon solar eclipse in November in your communication sector could bring new potential for learning, speaking, writing or travel opportunities.

I don't tend to read too much into this shit - but jeez I would be over the moon if some, or any of this, came true! Spanx Mumma!