adequately "emo" photograph
Over the past few months, one of my colleagues at work has posed a certain question to me more than a few times...
Where do you see yourself in the next five years?
What are your personal goals for the next five years?
And each time my response has been -
I don't know.
Until now, I feel like my entire life as a dancer/dance educator has been on this upward trajectory to land a high caliber job at a top company, like my current position. If you would've asked me the aforementioned questions five years ago - I would've been able to spout off a laundry list of things that I would've liked to accomplish. I always, ALWAYS had the next step in mind.
Today - I can think of a laundry list of goals for the program that I manage, but I am beginning to wonder how many of those are just practical goals for the program - and how many are personal goals that I want to accomplish for MYSELF?
The journey to get to where I am professionally was arduous - filled with many bumps and setbacks. I feel as though getting this job was akin to climbing Mount Everest. I *should* feel on top of the world. Instead, more often than not, I feel a sense of, "Okay, well, now what?"
I think it is fair to say that professional restlessness runs in my blood. My father runs his own business, because he's too cranky-pants to work with anyone else. My brothers are renaissance men that have dabbled in more professions than I can count. On the one hand, I do not want to submit to a life of bouncing around from job to job...on the other, I do not want to ignore my feelings entirely for the sake of a steady paycheck either.
I do not expect I'll figure out the answer anytime soon...but those are the thoughts that are currently tumbling around in my head!
Gratitude: I *AM* thankful that I got to speak to both of my brothers AND my sister today. A rare treat indeed!
2 comments:
You'll figure out what needs to be figured out. Ah, introspection! Thou art a never-ending process.... It can be good to step back and examine every now and then.
However, I always hate it when OTHER people ask me where I want to be in five years, etc. It's good for me to ask me, but I'd rather not be answering to the random masses.
You've been through a lot of major life changes in the last year. It's okay to not know and let that percolate for a bit. It's also okay to appreciate where you're at and still think you might do something else later. :) xoxo
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