I don't know s#%t about wine: Solanera Viñas Viejas 2007

A few weeks ago, I walked into a liquor store on a mission to buy, as the Billy Joel song so eloquently says, a "bottle of red, bottle of white." What followed was half an hour of paralyzing shopper's anxiety. What grape varieties are best? Do I want a wine with notes of grapefruit or coffee? What regions produce the best wine? Spain? Argentina? U.S. of A? I hastily procured the two bottles only after being asked by separate employees three times if I needed help with something...

I think they thought I was going to rob the store.

But, I digress.

I came to a conclusion that afternoon. I don't know s#%t about wine!

Thus - a new series here on lil' ole Geek+Nerd. Wine and booze reviews from moi, a complete ninny when it comes to such things apparently. Armed with my dusty copy of Girls' Guide to Wine and WikiHow's "How to Taste Wine" Guide I hope to figure out just what wines (and alcoholic beverages in general) that I like...and dislike.

The wine: Solanera Viñas Viejas 2007
Price: $11.99
Region: Yecla, Spain

Observations: Ruby in color, at first whiff this wine smells herbal. My nose detected an odd combination of lavender and oregano. This was an omen of things to come. The first sip smacked me in the face with sour, bitter alcohol. My tongue was completely overwhelmed - EW! Surprisingly, thirty seconds later, after the initial nasty assault, the finish was smooth with a lovely aftertaste of cherries and chocolate. This wine was impossible to sip for the sake of sipping...so I paired it with some chicken pot pie. I think all of the butter in the pie crust formed a force-field in my mouth protecting it from further damage. I just managed to finish the glass.

Star Rating: 1 out of 5

Purchase again? HELL NO.