I only visited her a few times in the past couple of years. This may be selfish to admit, but those visits were often more painful for me than I could bear. Matt and I visited her the Christmas after we got married, because I wanted her to meet him. We sat down with my wedding album and I pointed to her children, to my cousins, to myself. I said, "Memere, these are your sons and your grandchildren," and she would just reply, "Really? Is that so!"
I cried when we left. Memere remembered so little of everything. The home she at was filled with sadness and full of seemingly forgotten people. I went back there with my father for Mother's Day where I thought I saw a glimmer of recognition behind Mem's mischievous little smile. I'm glad that that was my last memory of her. It is enough.
Memere looking on as I blow out the candles on my third birthday
In better days you could always count on two things during a visit to Memere and Pepere Duclos' apartment. A can of Coke or Gingerale while you stayed, and a bag of M&M's when you left. They kept the M&M's on the such a high shelf that my tiny Memere had to stand on a step stool to reach them. Predictable. Always the same. Soda and M&M's. What child wouldn't love that?
Pepere and I circa 1984
My Pepere died of stroke-related complications when I was just twelve. He was the first person that I ever knew that died, and it was just devastating for me. My grandmother was not an independent woman, and I don't think that she ever recovered from the loss of my grandfather. She said to me once when I was a teenager, "I'm just waiting to go - I don't understand why God's taking such a long time."
Swan Lake, 1998: My dad, me, my sister Renee and Memere
It took God fourteen years to take her back, but I know that somewhere she's settling in with Pepere to watch the Canadiens play hockey, serving up soda and M&M's.
Today, amidst this current sadness, I've gotten the opportunity to interview as an outreach teacher with a huge dance organization. Probably top five largest in the country kind of huge. Memere's pulling strings from heaven already! I'm very thankful for this. Keep your fingers crossed for me! What are you thankful for today?
7 comments:
1st: How cute are you as a swan? Very!
2nd: Thank you for sharing a bit of your Memere with us. Isn't it wonderful how God gave us families to surround us as we go through this life? Lucky you for having such a great one.
Today *is* sad. Perhaps we can all reflect on Memere and those wonderful traditions she set in place that will live on, and carry her love into hearts for all time.
Thank you. Hugs.
My thoughts are with you and your family this evening. Such great memories - the best gift.
I'm so glad that you have memories to keep you. And that your Memere is finally with her husband.
I miss my Grandma and Granddad every day, as I know you will. Not the Memere that she has been with the illness, but the old her. The true her. I'm sure you've been missing her for a while.
I just found you on twitter and came to your blog to read this. I am so sorry for your loss.
Your post reminded me of my abuelo, my grandfather who used to hide chocolate in the top drawer of the cabinet. He would call me over quietly and give me some chocolate a few times a day.
He lived till he was 98, and passed on December 28. I miss him, but also thank him for sharing not only chocolate with me, but also his love of stories, life and people.
Thank you for the reminder.
I'm sorry for her passing for all of you who are left behind here, but happy that she is reunited with her beloved.
I hope that your grief passes quickly and you have many fond memories to cherish.
Your Memere sounds like an amazing person; so sorry about her passing.
Sarah, It hurts to lose your last grandparent, especially around this time of year. My thoughts are with you and your entire family, remember the great memories and share them often. She never really will be gone.... Love Evelynne
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