I do.
Sometimes I feel like I have the outlook of a ninety year old person - I'm acutely aware that like all good things, life eventually comes to an end, but in the meantime I feel it's necessary to cram as much as is humanly possible into my remaining days.
Sometimes this outlook is overwhelming.
Case in point; Look at those dishes precariously perched behind me. They're piled a mile high because I went out with friends for four nights in a row and valued extra sleep in the morning instead of clean dishes.
That's what life is all about right? Choices? Well, I think my problem is that I don't like to make choices. I want to do it ALL. And RIGHT NOW.
One would think that with each passing year of my life that I would gain some wisdom and insight about goals and time management. Nope. Instead with each passing year my aspirations get bigger.
Examples:
Instead of, say five years ago when knitting a scarf made me feel like I was a pioneer roughing the Oregon Trail, these days I'd like to (in no particular order):
Build my own eco-friendly house
Have a garden that could sustain my every food want
Can and preserve everything from said garden when necessary
Learn to make cheese
Sew everything I own
Have a clean house for more than 2.5 seconds
Be a fun, social friend
Make lace to...
...Edge hankies
Line dry my clothes (though the season for that is ending)
Found and run non-profit organization
Travel
Make wine
Etc, etc, etc.
At the height of ridiculousness, today I asked someone for a Beet Ginger Porter Ale recipe - because I'm just overwhelmed with the massive void of spare time that I have so I should learn about homebrewing(!?!?!?!?) What is wrong with me!?
I'm in an interesting place right now. My #1 all time dream is happening, I'm taking baby steps to start the dream non-profit. Working for the bakery is mindless enough that it allows me to concentrate on the #1 dream..however trying to do anything else on top of those two things is exhausting!
For the past month, when I get home, I don't want to do *ANYTHING* No cooking, no cleaning, not even blog reading. I usually listlessly look through pictures on Flickr, try to make conversation with my hub if he's home and then go to bed.
I read, (or used to read anyways), so many blogs written by these incredible artistic women who just seemingly do it all. I'm in awe of what many of these ladies accomplish in a day. And many of them have children to juggle besides that! They're either super-human or really great writers *cough* liars.
Well, call me a poor writer if you will. These are real pictures. My house=shambles. I'm tired. I have a million projects that I would show you if I could just work on them for five minutes. I miss my blog.
Today I am grateful to have the time and energy to clean my sink, roast a chicken, invent a recipe (more on that tomorrow), make some stock, and BLOG...finally! What are you grateful for today?
4 comments:
I love your honesty!
I am grateful for your blog.
I know, why IS it that we have all the excellent ideas, enthusiasm and desires and not the energy, time and resources to carry them out????
My mother mentions learning patience, prioritizing, living in the moment-REALLY-living in each and every moment-and that P word AGAIN. I really don't know what she's getting at!
I love your list. And I can completely empathize. I have many similar ambitions. As for the "having it all" I started a Cluttered Corners of My Home group on flickr as a snarky/tongue-in-cheek response to all the perfect photos I would see in blog land. Too many times I would take photos, but then there was a big dust bunny or dirty sock in the shot. Real life, all grotty and disorganized has such a way of encroaching.
hehehe, that first line and first photo sums me up completely. I have a weekly breakdown each Friday when I realise I haven't done 1/3 of the things on my to-do list. There's just not enough time is there?
I even quit my job so I'd have more time to do the things I want to do, hehehehe....
I must say cooking and cleaning are the first things that drop off my daily chores, we eat toast and tea a lot!
Post a Comment